Single Ladies: What are you doing? Literally, what are you doing at this moment, today, with your lives? Are you dreading the upcoming V-Day?  Or are you too busy living your life to have even noticed it?

Here’s a suggestion, in no uncertain terms, because we don’t sugarcoat it for you here at HLife: Instead of thinking about a day that will come and go, LIVE YOUR LIFE. Live it to the fullest, now. Do the things you dream of doing “someday” TODAY. Travel. Write. Climb that mountain. Start that business. Conquer yourself. Get informed and make the world a better place by treating yourself better. Change your attitude toward Mother Nature. None of this can happen unless you make it happen.

In case you haven’t noticed (’cause you’ve been too busy wallowing over not having a valentine) what you, single lady, have right now is that very precious commodity that everyone is after: TIME. You have all your time to yourself to do what you will. So, again, I ask you, what are you doing today? What are you doing with your time on Earth?

If you’re not loving your life and are biting your fingers over a holiday, you’re not living your life today. Wake up, ladies. There is a life to be lived, a world to improve, a message to spread, an enterprise to nurture into fruition, an adventure to explore. It is called YOU. This is what love is all about: Love YOU first. Everyone says it and I’ll say it again: Fall in love with you, your thoughts, your decisions, your actions, your life.

Here is what you really want, when you say you want love:

You want to think, say and do all the things that are in alignment with who you truly are as a human being.

You want to BE YOURSELF 100% AND EXPRESS THAT 100%.

You want to, if you don’t already know, discover who you are. Question, research, try and err, create, erase, modify, tweak, add color, sing, dance, play – do what you need to do to find out what makes you tick. (By the way, if you don’t know who you are, how is anyone else supposed to know and love you?)

You want to stop making excuses and pointing fingers and take responsibility for your life. At any given moment, even in captivity and under duress, you have the choice of acting or reacting to a situation. If you don’t like how you act or how you react, then work to change that. But get on the horse and ride it – no more standing by and watching.

You want to start trusting yourself and your feelings. I think a lot of women dismiss their intuition as second-rate to a more masculine ideal, like logic. WRONG. Intuition is truth without the need for a logical explanation. It leads you directly to the truth, all at once. Logic, a left brain activity touted by a patriarchal society as the ultimate superior indicator of truth, is a process. And like every process, it can go wrong at any given step. You can start with a bad premise and take it, logically, to an end result. But , because you started off wrong, you will not get to the truth, even if the whole process is correct. Or, you can start with the right premise, and make a mistake somewhere in the logical steps, and you will end up, again, with a result that is not the truth (but it has logic). Trust your intuition. TRUST YOURSELVES. Trust that you are made the way you are for a reason, and that YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS ALREADY.

You want to start being honest with yourself and others. Oftentimes you know from the start that someone is not right for you, that the relationship you are about to enter is not going to work out. You see the red flags. Something doesn’t feel quite right. But, regardless, there you are, cozy and chummy. And then, a few months later, the inevitable breakup comes. And you act surprised. The only bad thing about this is that you could be insane for acting surprised at something you already knew was coming. Get real with yourself – and with that poor fellow who invests his feelings as much as you do and depends on your wise intuition to tell him the truth he cannot see – and act in accordance with what you truly think. If you don’t like something, don’t do it. If you don’t like someone, don’t date him just ’cause you’re lonely. If you see something, say what you see and what you think. Everyone will not like what you say, or maybe even who you are. But you’re not alive on this planet to please people. You’re here to be exactly what you were created to be: YOURSELF. I guarantee you someone will take note of that – and like it.

You want to see this time with yourself as a precious present, for the gift that it truly is, to get to know yourself, and to get to share that freely with the world.

I would venture to say that all the single ladies have a lot to do. Do what you want and will, and enjoy it. It’s not love until you’re enjoying it. Find that enjoyment, and you will find true love.

]]> http://hlifemedia.com/2010/02/all-the-single-ladies/feed/ 3 http://hlifemedia.com/2010/02/hkitchen-choco-love-pudding/ http://hlifemedia.com/2010/02/hkitchen-choco-love-pudding/#comments Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:48:24 +0000 Silvie Celiz http://hlifemedia.com/?p=3283 Vegan Chocolate Pudding by Jesse Wight

Chocolate and cacao are usually associated with love. This choco-love pudding is perfect not just for a V-day celebration, but for celebrating LOVE every day! I’m not so much into sweets, but every once in a while I enjoy a good, not-too-sweet, vegan/non-refined sugar and always-smooth texture cacao anything.

Chocolate is made from cacao beans. When it is called “cocoa” it means the cacao has been dried and roasted, and when it is called “chocolate”, it means the cacao or cocoa has been mixed with something, usually refined sugar and milk. That’s why I like to call our vegan cacao pudding something different – like choco-love!  A guilt-free, non-dairy, non-refined sugar, creamy, and sweet-a-licious delight! For me…..and me too (Matrix reference, for all the fans). My husband lovesssssss this creamy, decadent dessert.

So why the romance between chocolate and love? There is actually a scientific/chemical explanation for this, as we all know that everything in the Universe is both mathematical and chemical.  All this is due to the phenylethylamine contained in the cacao. This chemical is a trace mineral capable of releasing dopamine, the “happy chemical”, in the pleasure center of the brain. Phenylethylamine occurs naturally in our brains, but it is also found in large amounts in the cacao bean. This chemical plays a big role in the experience of falling in love as well as passion (scientists have established that the phynylethylamine levels in our bodies skyrocket during orgasm). But we said CACAO, not sugar and milk. Sugar = poison, and we all know milk is for calves. OK, here is the recipe:

Prep: Puree all ingredients in a high-speed blender until completely smooth operator. Transfer to bowls and serve, or for a much more firm pudding, refrigerate for and hour or so.  You can serve it with fresh strawberries, raspberries, mix in some cacao nibs and chopped-up mint. Enjoy responsibly.

Nutritional info: Coconuts and their oils are actually superfoods. The coconut’s medium chain fatty acids are easy to metabolize, and the body prefers them used for energy rather than stored as fat around your hips. Coconuts are mainly composed of a particular fat called lauric acid, which is antiviral and antimicrobial. A percentage of the fatty acids in coconut fat is capric acid, which is also antiviral and antibacterial. Coconut water is a great source of electrolytes.  Although agave is not considered “raw” it is very low on the glycemic index, making it acceptable for diabetics to ingest, though I wouldn’t recommend it for everyday use. Cacao is considered another superfood, rich in antioxidants, phytonutrients, flavanoids, polyphenols – and you are probably wondering “Who dat?” We’ll have to do an HLife profile on all those guys so they can be familiar to you always. But know this for now: Cacao contains a high amount of magnesium, which is a very alkaline mineral. Over 300 enzymes in our body require magnesium in order to function; it is also involved in the metabolism of proteins, carbohydrates, and fats and it helps genes function properly.  Ceylon is considered “true cinnamon” and is what you should look for. Cinnamon has many health benefits. It has shown promise in the treatment of diabetes, arthritis, high cholesterol, memory function, and even leukemia and lymphoma. Studies have shown that just 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon per day can lower LDL cholesterol. Several studies suggest that cinnamon may have a regulatory effect on blood sugar, making it especially beneficial for people with type 2 diabetes. In some studies, cinnamon has shown an amazing ability to stop medication-resistant yeast infections. It also has an anti-clotting effect on the blood. One study found that smelling cinnamon boosts cognitive function and memory. Cinnamon is also a great source of manganese, fiber, iron, and calcium.

Dear HLife: What’s the Recipe for Romance  in a Long-term Relationship?

Dear HLifer,

People have a tendency to think that, in a beginning relationship, or one that has lasted only a few months, it is easier to be romantic because everything is so new and undiscovered. This is the kind of thinking that sets people up for failure and disappointment. Here is the problem: In general, many people’s view of romance is limited, probably due to  ideas from TV  and  film. Some think romance is sex; some seem to think that if there are no candles or food involved, romance is non-existent; others think that romance can only be experienced away from your everyday life (like during a trip or while taking a vacation). To keep the romance alive in a long-term relationship, this old mentality needs an update.

Romance is not what you are doing or where you are, it’s what you feel when you are in the presence of that special person no matter where you are or what you are doing.  You can be having a candlelight dinner watching the sun set into the ocean and not feel any romance at all simply because of who you are with or how that person makes you feel.  We have been programed to think that being in a dimly lit place or doing some special activity with your partner equals romance, but real romance is what goes on every day between you and someone you love, beneath all the words, actions and all the little moments shared. What I’m saying is that there is no romantic Valentine’s Day without the romance the other 364 days of the year. It’s the day-to-day that makes your life as a couple romantic.  It’s both people enjoying one another on every level. For example, I think it’s super romantic when my husband and I share a cup of herbal tea together, in the morning, while still in our pj’s. We laugh, we do little things for one another to make each other’s lives easier, better, and we both appreciate one another for that.

When you are in a long-term relationship, it is actually easier to be romantic, because you really know your partner.  You know what ticks them off, what they like and don’t like, what they need, how to push their buttons and how to make them go, “Aww, honey, that’s so sweet of you.” Here is the doozy: Romantic love is a two-way street, with both people giving and receiving both love and romance. So, gentlemen: Woo your woman daily, ask if she needs help with the cooking or picking-up of something she is missing from the store, tell her she is beautiful every day (we don’t get tired of hearing it…unless you are lying), offer her a foot rub, tell her to take a break ’cause you’ll make (or bring) dinner, offer her a chamomile tea, laugh with her, make her life easier, hug her daily, make her happy – and communicate! And ladies: Tell your man how much you appreciate him, offer him a back rub, feed him his favorite (but healthy) meal, nurture him and smother him with kisses, make the house a palace and be his queen, give him support, laugh with him, leave him a cute note at his desk, feel sexy and flirt with him, make yourself happy – and communicate! My husband always says: “Happy wife, happy life”.  Great motto.

The bottom line is this: There is nothing more romantic, and no better way to keep the flame alive, than being married to your best friend.

Ingredients for Romance:

♥ Respect
♥ Details (the little things do matter)
♥ Unselfishness
♥ Giving
♥ Honesty
♥ Sense of humor (Laughter)
♥ Love
♥ Commitment
♥ Affection
♥ Caring
♥ Communication

]]> http://hlifemedia.com/2010/02/dearhlife-recipe-for-romance/feed/ 3 http://hlifemedia.com/2010/02/the-gift-of-love/ http://hlifemedia.com/2010/02/the-gift-of-love/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:31:11 +0000 Maryl Celiz http://hlifemedia.com/?p=3130

Today is a special day for me because it is my birthday, but for everyone else on the planet, February 1st marks the beginning of something else that is equally as wonderful: Love Month.

It might be awards season for Hollywood and heart health awareness month for the American Heart Association, but as is evident by the red and pink displays all over the supermarkets and other stores, February is the month we celebrate love in the form of Valentine’s Day.

So, what exactly are we celebrating here? A relationship? Yes. Traditionally, it is a romantic relationship, a lover’s Hallmark holiday full of greeting cards and gifts, dinner reservations and surprises. In the past decades, it has come to include friendship, with presents being offered to multiple people on multiple levels. Maybe we could extend love month to include all of our relationships, celebrate each person we love in different ways, kind of like what vegan-raw singer Jason Mraz suggested last night at the Grammys: “Your mom, your dad, or your cousin, whoever you’re watching the show with, create them as the best in that category and give them an award. Present them an award tonight…tonight is a night of acknowledgment.” Well, today starts the month of acknowledgment for those we love. Let’s let them know just how much we appreciate them for all that they are to us – all of them, parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, and, of course, romantically significant others.

This includes the most significant person of all: ourselves. Let’s show ourselves the love, too.

What is love? Let me leave you with something entirely different to ponder, something that doesn’t include planning, spending, or anything but your own will…a new definition of love, as per a wise friend.

Love is: Order. When things in your life are in order (internally and externally), this brings about Balance. Being in balance will allow you to have Good Sense. Order, balance and good sense all together will result in Health. When you have health, you can then acquire Knowledge. Knowledge experienced will bring about Understanding.  With all of that, you can then have Harmony.

The compendium of all of these things….is Love.

I know it’s not a massage or a treat, but we’re talking about your growth, you doing the things that will put your life on the great path that it deserves to be in. This is love – for yourself. And that is the greatest gift of all.

Happy Love Month from your HLife family.