Dear HLife: What’s the Recipe for Romance in a Long-term Relationship?
Dear HLifer,
People have a tendency to think that, in a beginning relationship, or one that has lasted only a few months, it is easier to be romantic because everything is so new and undiscovered. This is the kind of thinking that sets people up for failure and disappointment. Here is the problem: In general, many people’s view of romance is limited, probably due to ideas from TV and film. Some think romance is sex; some seem to think that if there are no candles or food involved, romance is non-existent; others think that romance can only be experienced away from your everyday life (like during a trip or while taking a vacation). To keep the romance alive in a long-term relationship, this old mentality needs an update. Read More…
I often encounter individuals thirsty for what they call “love”. Everyone wants love, someone to share his life with, someone to complete hers. The problem is, most people’s idea or concept of love is distorted (see post “What Is Love?”.) In my observation, and generally speaking (not naming any names!) the main three reasons people get into a relationship are: 1) They are “hot” for one another (passion) 2) Convenience (status, money, looks, “good on paper”, superficial things,) 3) They are lonely, and something is better then nothing, right? Wrong. Obviously, you have to be attracted to the person, but you also have to know (and be honest with yourself) if the attraction is all you have. Attraction is a must, but it’s not all, and most certainly not enough. It may be an ingredient of a relationship, but can we make an amazing meal/recipe with just one ingredient? Didn’t think so. The key here is being in the right relationship, for the right reasons. But what is a “right relationship”? And what are the “right reasons”? Read More…
