HLife | Healthy Living Redefined

What is a gentleman? Driven by something I read and considered to be a weak definition of this term, I thought I’d offer my own two cents here. After all, I am a lady, and I think that’s enough to qualify me to at least give this a try.

On a very fundamental level, a Gentleman is, well, a Gentle Man. What does this entail? Well, for one, you have to be a man.  And, being a man, you have to be gentle.

Webster says “gentle” means:

1. Belonging to a family of high social status.
2. Chivalrous.
3. Honorable.
4. Distinguished.
5. Kind, amiable.
6. Suited to a person of high social station.
7. Tractable, docile, free from harshness, sternness or violence.
8. Soft, delicate.
9. Moderate.

The first definition implies that, to be gentle (or gentile, where the word came from), was to be a part of a special social circle or family tree, what you could call “nobility”. Nobility is a word used to refer to royal families, yes, but it is also a word that refers to the quality of being noble, meaning, being someone who is characterized by superior mind, character, ideals or morals. A gentle person is not an average Joe – he is outstanding, as he possesses those qualities outlined here above. A gentle man is one who is kind – to all of God’s creations alike, not just the hot chicks – distinguished, honorable (a man of his word, reliable and trustworthy), a man with a soft hand to treat a woman with the care that she deserves, not harshly, not violently, but as if she were a rose petal. A very special man, indeed.

Speaking of man…what is a man? According to our friend Webster, a man is:

1. An adult male human.
2. A man is also a bipedal primate mammal of the species Homo sapiens that is anatomically related to the great apes but distinguished especially by notable development of the brain with a resultant capacity for articulate speech and abstract reasoning.
3. A man is also one possessing in high degree the qualities considered distinctive of manhood.

Of these three definitions, only one (the first) requires a “man” to have a penis (be male). So, having a penis, does not a man make (those of you who define your manliness by your “manhood” – some of you explicitly – it seems you are mistaken.) The first definition also requires a man to be an adult. Webster says an adult is a grown-up, fully developed and mature. Because we are holistic beings, this means a true adult is one who is fully developed and mature on all levels – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. With just this, how many of you can say you’re a man so far? How many ladies can say they’ve met one or are with one right now?

This first definition also says a man is a human. Going beyond taxonomy and into philosophy, there is a very big difference between a man (or woman) and a human. To be human means to have humanity. To have humanity means to have developed a higher level of conscience and the understanding that we, as a species and as a collective universal body, are connected. It means to know that my actions affect yours and vice versa, that climate change is as much my responsibility as it is Nature’s and industry’s, that the behavior of men in general is directly related to the behavior of women, that what I think, say, and do to myself will have a direct and equal effect – positive or negative – on you. It means waking up to the fact that we are in this thing called life together – all of us. Being human means being aware of this and taking responsibility for ourselves, other beings, the planet, and anything beyond that. Being human means realizing that all that is, is one – and acting accordingly. Now, I ask you, how many humans do you know? And are you one of them?

We’ve said it before and we’re not the only ones: This is a time of great change. It is a time of choice. It is a time of stepping up to all of the internal changes and evolution that this new era calls for. With all this in mind, I ask  all of you guys to think about what it means to be a gentle adult male – a gentleman – and how this applies to you. After all, it is up to you to decide – do you choose to be just a great ape or do you choose to go beyond and be an outstanding gentleman?

And, ladies, take responsibility for this as well and help the men in your life step up to the greatest version of themselves that we all know they can be: kind, connected, strong of body/mind/soul, spiritually awake and self aware, giving, tender, balanced, loving, real…human.