HLife | Healthy Living Redefined

As you all know, here at HLife we don’t sugarcoat things. We tell it like it is. So, let’s get right to it and discuss something that is on the minds of many, if not all: love.  First, lets take a quick look at what love is not:

• -Love is not a need. Love is not a need because we all have it inside ourselves. Love can be shared, given or received, but it cannot be needed. If you view love as a need, this means you have not recognized the love inside you or tapped into it. We all have love inside of ourselves, but if we identify it as a need, if we think we need it from the outside, we will never be able to share, give or receive it because we will be desperately trying to compensate for something we lack instead of being in a harmonious, joyous, appreciative (and therefore loving) state. Looking for love outside of yourself when you have not recognized it inside of you first is going about things backwards. Love always begins within you. We cannot love someone or something if there is no love inside of ourselves. By the same token, how can anyone love us if we don’t love ourselves, if we don’t deem ourselves worthy of love? So, the first step is to recognize that we have love, inside, then fall in love with ourselves (not in an narcissistic egotistical way, but by recognizing and appreciating who we are in all of our splendor) and then start loving ourselves. At that level of self-awareness and self-love, we will know and understand that love is something that we’ll never need, because we always have it; but, because you have it, it is something you can give to others without any expectation. You ARE love. Be love and by the law of attraction, you will attract that into your life. 

• -Love is not a crutch/dependence. When someone breaks up with you and you feel like you cannot go on living, that is dependency. This is the story of the little chick that wouldn’t leave the nest. In this situation, what the person really wants is a mom or dad…again. Remnant and unresolved issues with our parents cause us to be with someone, not because we love them, but because they fill the role of parent but in a comfortable situation where the issue (with the real parent) still won’t be confronted. The moment our “love” leaves, we are back to being 10 years old, left in the hatched egg without care, confused by the unresolved issues that our parents didn’t even know we had and that would affect us throughout our later years of life, until we are in our grave and well beyond death into our next life. These misunderstood child-parent issues create insecure, immature, dependent “adults”, incapable of having healthy, fulfilling relationships. Dig deep, question your thoughts, actions, and words, and confront/resolve your fears BEFORE you seek out a relationship. It is not until we liberate our minds from insecurities, distorted concepts, unresolved issues and misunderstood experiences that we are free to truly LOVE. Always remember that a grown up relationship is not a chance to be a little boy or a little girl once again and stay under the wing of your parents with your thumb in your mouth – it is a conscious opportunity and choice to share an equal partnership.

• -Love is not sex. Sometimes people are chained to sexual sensations and confuse this experience with love. Love comes from a supreme, ethereal, and profound place, not a physical one (the physical is a possible end result or expression of that love, not the love itself). When one is driven by sensation and instinct, the result is sex, which, without any other higher state of consciousness (care, understanding, altruism) is pretty much a primary animal need, not love. Evolution and elevation have taken us beyond the primitive animal reality. Yet, although we have come a long way from the caveman era, a person nowadays can still have lots of sex and have and experience no love. Real love never needs sex; but sex can be the consequence of love… it should be the last thing you do when you are dating someone. Sex, especially having it right away, blinds you from seeing the reality of the situation you are becoming involved in, which has questions that should be asked and answered before even thinking about sleeping with someone: Why are we together? Why do I like this person? If I wasn’t sexually attracted to this person, would I still enjoy his/her company? Do we want the same things out of life? Where is this relationship going? Why does this person like me? What are his/her intentions? Do we have the same values? Sex can blur your mind from receiving the internal answer of all these questions that you deserve to know before doing something that might mislead you on your journey toward love. Don’t get me wrong, sex is amazing, but it is not love. Now, making love when you actually have love, that’s beyond amazing!

Now that we know what love is not, let’s examine exactly, what love is. I have been breaking this concept down for years and am happy to report that I am in a loving and fulfilling relationship. I am also writing about my quest for and discovery of  love in my upcoming book Warrior of Love.

LOVE is:

• - Order
• - Harmony and peace
• - Altruism
• - Balance
• - Maintaining balance of mind and body
• - Respect for yourself as well as others
• - Responsibility
• - Conscience
• - Philanthropy
• - Well-being
• - Sometimes saying no
• - Giving without expecting something in return
• - Us, not I
• - Spiritualizing your energy
• - Caring for our planet
• - Nourishing your mind, body and spirit

Rather than explaining what each of these concepts are, we encourage you to research, study and delve deep into this list of what love is. This is the only way to truly understand these concepts, and, therefore, begin your journey toward understanding what love really is. It would be easy for me to tell you more about them but in order to make them an automatic part of you, one must actively do the work. As we begin to work with our own selves we will begin to know the real meaning of love.

Love is endless, infinite, unconditional and strong. Most of all, love has positive results. On a global note: Knowing that there are so many differences between all of us, and even with our differences, uniting with our best effort to create harmony and peace on this planet – is the highest level of love. When one reflects on what real love is, have this very clear: Love has no ego. I will conclude this post with a quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, author of one of the classics The Little Prince: “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction”.